Thursday, May 03, 2007

The Sari Incident- reposted by request

Pastures in the Spring
Winter in the Buckeyes

You may remember a while back a post that vaguely referred to something called "The Sari Incident". Since it's raining outside and the muse is silent today, I thought I would post that story today. This happened to me on a warm sunny day in summer about three years ago. It was a very humiliating experience, but one I'm sure will provide lively entertainment for you.

So I offer up for your amusement, The Sari Incident:

Today was right out of a Laurel & Hardy movie, starring yours truly. We live in a canyon, picture from the bottom, a gentle upward slope, cozy houses tucked away on natural 'shelves' going up the canyon. We are about half way up and our nearest neighbor is about 1/8 mile below us. She can look up and see our alpacas, their pastures, but not our house proper.

The event that occurred was out in the bottom grass pasture, of course! I was wearing a tee-shirt and a sari type wrap around my waist and was minding my own business hanging out with the machos while they grazed, watching the blue sky and playing "I CAN touch you" with my llama boy. Suddenly I was attacked, I was stung by a bee! Wait, that was a bite, Ouch!! Now that was a sting!

Of course, it wasn't on any visible surface, like my arm, or leg.... it was on my bottom... How the wasp found it's way up the sari and into no man's land is a mystery.

I tried to smack the wasp into submission, tried to squish it with my hand, but to no avail. Finally, after the fourth sting- in desperation, ripping off the sari I start shrieking and waving it around frantically, trying to dislodge the offending beast.

My neighbor below who had just pulled up to her house in her car, perhaps thinking I was engaging in some sort of strange new greeting, waves back and yells "Hello!!" with a puzzled look, then hustles into her house without a backward glance. The alpacas are jumping around, leaping into the air thinking it is time to play 'booga-booga'. My dog Fatty Lumpkins, ever my knight in shining armor, runs into the pasture under the gate, scatters the pacas and knocks me over to grab the sari in his mouth and start tearing it apart. Perhaps he thought it was a giant bloodthirsty bat attacking his mommy..... Then, to top it all off, I slip on the grass and land on my derriere.

I run for the house with the wasp, it's whereabouts still unknown, perhaps in my underwear? (I am NOT going to take THEM off out there) I have a suspicion my neighbor is peering out from behind her curtains, maybe she is on the phone with the sheriff, reporting her nutty neighbor, I don't know. I hear the pacas sniggering in the background.

After my 10 year old daughter recovers from seeing her mother running through the house at top speed half naked, she comes to see if she can laugh at me, er, I mean help. "Look for astinger!!" I yell frantically. "Mom! Gross!!" she says trying to hide her giggles of glee. Nope, it was a wasp. It got me thrice with it's stinger, once with it's nasty little teeth - I know they don't have any but still. I can only hope I squashed the little bugger when I hit the ground. I hate Yellow Jackets......

I really don't know what I am going to say the next time I see my neighbor. It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't wondered just how loony I was because I crawled around on my hands and knees for 2 weeks right after we moved here, picking every little microscopic unidentified weed with my fanny up in the air. Oh, and the time I was out there breaking up a fight between three of my males in my pajamas with my big PVC piece, screaming at them to "Knock it off before you wake up the neighbors!!" (hay! It was early in the morning!!)
Ouch......... more than my pride was wounded on this day.

Disclaimer: I am not a professional wasp killer, please consult your local professional before trying to squish one with your behind. Do not exceed recommended daily allowance. Extreme panic may ensue.

Hope you enjoyed!


Robyne said...

Rachelle I always enjoy your blog!
Dot or not. The new format looks great. I just love the pics.

Robyne said...

By the way

I have put a link on my site to this one...I hope thats ok..

RD said...

This story is great! I had a similar incident (though not as embarrassing/hilarious as this one)in the parking lot of Target. Also, my husband will be thrilled to know he has a fan!

Sarah said...

Yikes! Somehow I've avoided any kind of bee/wasp sting for my whole life but I have a feeling that if I ever was stung on the fanny I would respond exactly as you did - except I make no guarantees that the panties wouldn't have come off. We have to give our poor bored neighbors something to talk about over dinner!

I'm happy to have you link me up - I'm doing the same for your blog and there ain't nothing you can do about it :)


Good story ....

Rachelle Black said...

Robyne- thanks so much! I enjoy yours too. I will live vicariously through you while you are in Scotland- post often and let's see loads of pictures!!
_green with envy_

RD- yes, I read through your site after I posted this one. How funny that you had a silent witness- you'd think she'd have tried to help!!
Yes, your hubby has a fan- should we start a club? :))

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.... your time will come! It will.... never fear.

Bob- took your advice- is it working? For me, when I post, it always pops up in a new window so I thought it did for everyone else as well.

RD said...

Of course! I would be thrilled if you linked to my site, and I'd like to link to yours, also if you don't mind.

Malnurtured Snay said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bex said...

Well that's pretty dang funny. I can totally see myself in that same situation and reacting how you did. It's a shame no one caught it on video! :)

Rachelle Black said...

Bex- yup, I could be a millionare right now if only there was someone watching me with a video camera.... wait a minute, that's kind of creepy..... HA-HA!
There have been so many moments in my life where I could have won America's Funniest Home Video that I almost hired someone to follow me with a camera. But then I figured I would fall on him somehow and there would be a law suit.

rd- sure, I don't mind :))

Jamey Morrison said...

Hey sis.Haven't looked at you r blog in a while.Almost died laughing with the wasp incident(sorry but in 20 yrs,you'll be laughing too).Hope all is well.Sorry I missed you for the holidays.Don't know when I'll be down again cause I'm only working one job now and Giselle is still not working:( I have put a new chapter in my website.It's got cool pics of Casinos past and soon to be past of my 10 yrs living in Vegas. Check it out and sign and leave a comment in my guestbook and tell me what you think. Show the kids too(relax there's no profanity).Well I'll close for now.Take care

Jamey Morrison said...

Hey sis. One more thing.If you have Yahoo Messenger,we can chat.It's easy and 100% FREE! Go to MESSENGER.Follow downloading instructions.Once that's complete,create a user name/password,then sign in.Then add my name: Just_call_me_Prince Once you do that and you see me online,we can chat! Uncle Frank also has an ID if you want it: cactusjumper_1931. Hope to chat with you soon.Take care

Rachelle Black said...

My dear baby brother....
I am so glad I can still provide an amusing moment for you!
I did visit your site and I LOVE the casino history! You really did a great job, that must have taken so long to get all that info and those pictures!
Very well done my dear :))
I will sign your guestbook soon.
My friend Cozmic likes all the skulls LOL. I'll look into messenger.

Shrink wrapped scream said...

Well, crazy-lady, you can't be trusted alone for one darn minute, can you? That's wasp-abuse, that is! Laughed my pants off (sorry)!

somebody said...