Okay, sometimes I think I need two blogs. One for some stuff, and one for other stuff. I mean people are always saying you shouldn't talk about politics or religion on your blog if you want people to read it. Well, I don't buy it. Since my goal in blogging was to share my life with all of you, ignoring something that is a huge part of my life would make my blog a sham. It would be trying to make me something I'm not. Like taking my life and putting into neat little compartments before deciding what to share.
Sheesh, anyone who knows me knows that I am not neat about anything....
So, here we go- but hey! No politics!! :))
This has been a happy/sad week. Yesterday 8 alpacas left my ranch. They were all boarders, and some of them will be greatly missed. Sad.
On the other hand 8 less alpacas means much less work for me, and more time to work with my own alpacas. It brings my total here on the ranch to a manageable level of 14 alpacas and 2 llamas.
Loss of the boarding income is a downside. Sad.
Peace of mind that I only have my own alpacas to worry about on a daily basis. Happy.
Then today, I got released from my calling at church as Primary president. Sad.
........ okay, I am still looking for the happy side of this. I LOVE those kids! I have been doing this for almost 4 years now, and I can't imagine doing anything else. I'm GOOD at this job!
I know this is the Lord's will, but sometimes I wish I could have a face to face with Him- just so I know what's going on! However, that could very well turn into a 20 questions sort of thing, which explains the whole gotta-wait-till-your-dead-to-get-a-face-to-face interview thing.
I mean who has time to answer all of my questions? Certainly not God, he's too busy laughing at my life!! KIDDING!! But seriously, have you seen my life these days?? Sometimes I wonder. I like the plaque that reads: We plan. God Laughs.
I have been in many different places in my church callings. Teaching adults, compassionate services, working with the youth, and of course- with the children. All of these callings have been great. Some have taken me out of my comfort zone... way out.....
Take my calling to be the young women's camp director. Okay, sure...
My teenage years were insane. There was so much abuse and craziness going on in my life that I spent every waking moment trying to numb myself so I didn't have to feel anything. Um, suffice it to say that I didn't spend a whole lotta time at church. It wasn't until I was 25 that I turned into the whole and fabulous woman that I am now. How in the world was I going to lead a bunch of teenage girls in the most spiritual week of the year at camp??
I spent a lot of time with my bishop trying to talk him into the idea that he had made a mistake. He had called the wrong person. He just smiled and said the Lord knew what he was doing, I was in the right place.
Well, he was right... doggone it. The two years I spent as camp director were filled with growth for me. Those girls taught me more about compassion, service, and unconditional love than I had ever known. I even learned that I could be a giggly teenager all over again, for the first time.
I never would have had that personal growth without that calling. When I was released, I cried.
And then I got called into Primary.
You know, it all comes down to this. I don't like change. Change is scary. It means I am not in control of anything, and I don't like it.
Why can't I ever be in control?? It's not fair!! Uh-oh, I feel a tantrum coming on. See!! Primary has gotten me in touch with my inner child!! That's a good thing, right??!!
I also know that another calling is coming to a theater near me very soon. I have been told one is in the works right now. Well, what if I don't like it? What if I'm not good at it?! What if I totally suck at it?!?!
Yup, change sucks like a vacuum on steroids.
My life recently has seemed like a roller coaster. Oh, I know you've heard that one before. But this roller coaster has no brakes and the tracks come to an abrupt end somewhere in the not too distant future. So I know the end of the line is coming, just not when. No control again, see?
This calling was the one constant in my life. The one thing I was certain wouldn't change.
Like I said, we plan, God laughs.
Oh well, time for me to go hug a paca and get over myself. I am as certain as I can be that I will survive this change like I have all the others in my life. At least I know I never have to go back to my childhood and youth. I have a wonderful supportive husband, and two beautiful children. And you.
Take good care of yourselves and I will let you know which hat I will be wearing at church from now on as soon as I do.
Here's hoping it isn't den mother.....