Several things can speed up or increase the number of cells killed on any given day:
drugs and alcohol
husbands -- said with tongue firmly planted in cheek--
And children between the ages of zero to about 90...... I am so totally doomed!!
Considering I have had some form of all of the above in my lifetime, it is no surprise that I am cracking up early.
Consider this: I used to remember people's names, always. Heck, I even remembered my name with great regularity! Whatta ya know! Now, I am lucky if I remember to put on my pants in the morning before leaving the house.
This malady runs in the family to some extent for sure. I remember my father, he drove me crazy.... he could never remember my name! In my family there are in order from oldest to youngest: Dawna, Cindy, Jeff, Rachelle, and Jamey.
Dad used to have to go through the whole list before getting to me. Now granted, he stuck with the girls so I never had to deal with "the-being-called-a-boy-name-for-my-whole-life" issue, but still. It was:
Dawna, er, Cindy, er, dammit all!! Rachelle!!! For the longest time, I thought my name really was Dammit all Rachelle.
Talk about issues..... Then to top it all off, he married a woman with 6 daughters....yes you read that right... from then on it took my dad about 10 minutes to get to my name.
For the boys, they got off lucky, it was only Jeff, er, Jamey. I think they got off easy and I tortured my little brother his whole life as a result. Hay!! At least they both started with a J!
My mother? Well bless her heart she has a memory like a steel trap. Complete with gaping holes in the side for extra ventilation and that pretty scalloped look. Names are great for her, it's things that slip from her. Things like dates, where she put stuff, and how things really happened..... and that's not just a daughter who was a troublemaker talking here.
Yup, she is a great one for losing things. Every year I can expect to hear, "Well dear, I had a whole boat load of Christmas presents that I bought in March and wrapped with everyone's names on them.... but I can't find them!" So I had to buy new presents at the last minute and wrap them fast, here's your tea cosy in the shape of a rubber chicken."
Now, mom lives in a mobile home. Shouldn't be that difficult right? HA! You should see this place, it has more cubbies and secret compartments than the Vatican. You could lose a Chrysler in there if you had a mind to.
So here I am. I can't remember names, where I am supposed to be at any given time, where I put things, and I've developed a fondness for tea cosys in weird shapes.
This goes way beyond walking into a room and forgetting why I am there. It starts as I am walking TO the room. I can't remember why I am walking.... was it to go to the bathroom? To feed the chickens?? (none of whom look remotely like the cosy BTW) To eat? Okay, I never forget to eat tragically....
But you see where I am going. My friends wonder why I am so scattered and unorganized. I simply have to invite them to spend a day in my life and they soon see how it is, and from then on they just shake their heads and whisper as I walk by, "There goes poor Rachelle, she has a problem you know."
One time I thought all my troubles were a thing of the past. I found Ginko Biloba!! The miracle brain cell restorative that promised that all my memory woes would be a thing of the past.
I quickly flew to Costco to buy a case, asking every checker for their names, confident that the next time I returned, I would remember them. Ginko Biloba.... the two most beautiful words in the English language.
Bringing it home, I unwrapped the Manna and read the directions. "Take two caplets three times a day one hour before eating"
----thunk-crash---- that was me throwing the case of "MANNA" through the window.
Okay..... now I ask you, if you are the manufacturer of a memory enhancement supplement, is it really wise to formulate it to be taken three times a day? Because, here's what happened.... I couldn't remember to take it!!!!! Three times a day?!! I can't even remember to take my kids to school three times a week!!! I couldn't remember my 10th anniversary!!!! Three times a day!!!
I tried, really I did. But I just couldn't remember to take it, or if I already had taken it.
And all for the lack of Ginko Biloba. I should sue........................
Til next time loyal readers, and may your days be filled with memories, or at least be filled with remembering to take your Ginko Biloba while you can.