Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Alas, poor sink..... I knew thee well

I would like to introduce you to my new hero;

Yes, the common paper plate. So ordinary, your everyday sort of average guy. Not one to stand out in a crowd. Quiet and unassuming, the paper plate sits out it's life in your pantry, too boring for everyday use, not suitable for soup, and certainly too bourgeois for company.

And yet..... the humble paper plate is my hero.

Shock and awe...... sink, oh sink.... wherefore art thou sink?!?!?!?!?!?

Here marks the spot where my sink used to reside. It was beautiful! White and pristine, with a faucet that spurted water at the simple touch of it's handle.

That is, until...... (dun-dun-duuuunnnnnn) The Clog. The Clog came and lodged itself inside my sink's beautiful pipes and rendered my poor, wonderful sink impotent with just a chunk of solid matter.

Hubby thought The Clog was inside the pipes leading up to the sink. Just a simple matter of unhooking the pipes, and whoosh! Out would come the clog.

But alas, twas not meant to be. The Clog actually had the nerve to fix itself into the tiny connecting tubes in the sink itself. Oh dear.....

So, hubby, ever the fix it man, said- "No problem! I'll just take out the sink, take off the pipes and whoosh! Voila! Presto chango!! Fixed!" Uh-huh...... not. Taking out the sink caused the tiles along the sides to break off, causing the grout to have to be be removed, making fixing time stretch into days, causing.... this.

The great mess of our time. And this is only a small part of it.

While hubby had to replace tile, grout, glue and paint, (5 days now) the dishes amass themselves into great heaps that threaten to take over the entire house if left unchecked. Every plate, and spoon, cup and fork have been used. The trail of dirty dishes meanders along every available speck of counter space, onto the kitchen table, and gives me heart palpitations every time I enter the kitchen and think of the clean up.......

Enter My Hero! *sighs and flutters eyelashes*

Oh my sink, I never knew how much I loved you! I took you for granted, used you every day over and over and never told you how much I appreciated you! I callously scrubbed you, muttering under my breath about how much I hated cleaning you.... I threw things into you, never once considering your feelings! Do you really like potato peels and broccoli?

Never again! I swear by all that is pure and good in this world! I will never again take you for granted! I will spoil you rotten, make you sparkle with vitality all the days of your life! I will feed you only the purest ice to keep your disposal blades sharp, and never, ever will I mutter under my breath how much I hate doing the dishes! Never Again!!


There you lie...... your guts strewn all over the kitchen, your pipes torn asunder, rendered useless by The Clog.

Alas..... poor sink..... I knew thee well.


Anonymous said...

Oh, those little problems that blow up to big projects. You managed to keep a humorous attitude in describing your sinkless situation.

Narya is adorable!

karoline said...

an ode to a paper plate..

i luv it..lolol...

think of the dishes from the fabulous thanksgiving supper you will be serving in your beautiful new sink


Catmoves said...

A beauty Rachelle. I wonder what hubby thinks about this new love of yours?
Just between you 'n' me, that kind of thing is why we now live in an aprtment complex. If our sink plays up, we pick up our handy dandy phone and tell the maintenance people we need care. Although Wild Thing still fixes stuff in our apartment.
Moral: You can take a girl out of the house, but you can't take a house out of the girl.

Casdok said...

I had to smile!
But i bet it was a pain in the a...

silfiriel said...

hey, a new header. that looks nice, very nice :)

Victorya said...

I like paper plates, despite the whole 'non-green' aspect of them. But doing dishes - eck!

Sandy Kessler said...

Amazing how things get worse while you are striving to stay ahead of the fray - a sense of humor helps - your border is lovely

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

I knew no good would come out of having a man hanging about the house all day! (Are you SURE this blockage got there unasissted?? Just asking, as BBC would say..)

Rachelle, only you could take something like this and turn it into a work of art. I laughed 'til my jaws ached, you are my kinda' gal. Brilliant writing hon, one of your finest (and there are many to pick from). Hope poor sinkies guts are sutured soon.. ((x))

Rachelle said...

Dear Dar,
LOL, there are never any "little problems" around our place, dontcha know?
If I didn't laugh, I'd run under a bus!

Rachelle said...

Dear Karoline,
And what a beautimus sink it is! I even got a new faucet fixture with a water hose, er, swivel, um..... thingy!

Rachelle said...

Dear Catmoves,
Hubby learned long ago he had to share me. There are many other men in my life, my dog, paper plates, my son, Orlando Bloom as Legolas..... *sigh*

Rachelle said...

Dear Casdok,
Yes, it was a pain in the arse!
But, it was tragically funny as well, much like my life in general, don't you think?

Rachelle said...

Dear Silfiriel,
Yes, isn't it loverly? I will be posting about that very soon and about the wonderful lady who made it!
Ps..... what, the paper plate gag wasn't funny????
What does a girl have to do around here to get a laugh.....
Tee-hee I'm kidding!

Rachelle said...

Dear Victorya,
Well, 'green' or not they sure saved my butt!
And hubby did all the dishes AND cleaned up his mess, all by himself!!
I think I just died and went to Heaven.....

Rachelle said...

Dear Sandy,
Why thank you! Yes, when it rains it pours.... speaking of which, it is supposed to rain tomorrow- and me with a hole in my roof still.
Better start laughing now huh!

Rachelle said...

Dear Carol,
Oh dear, I think all that time with bbc was detrimental to your state of mind.... I can hear you becoming a cynic all the way from across the pond!
Quick! Turn around three times, pat your head whilst rubbing your tummy, and listen to some Mozart before your brain rots from all his gibberish!!!!
That's an order!

silfiriel said...

hey i'ma guy, and 24. i'm not much into dishes, actually i'm not much into washing them:)
non the less, I liked the writing. I am telling you gotta write a book.

Helena said...

Hmmm...well it sounds like a good idea to me....

when Luvbug and me first moved in together, we agreed that whoever cooked, the other person washes up.

Well, that was 4 years ago.

It works out fine, some of the time.

Now that he works most days and I don't, I do the cooking in the evening.

The washing up? Oh, he does that in the morning. The next morning. Mostly. Sort of. Sometimes. Other times it's next evening. Or maybe the following morning after that. Or the following evening. Or like tonight, when I couldn't leave it any longer as I needed stuff from inside the pile to cook with so I did it all myself...

And each time I attempt to do it, he shouts, "No! I'll do that!" but I've no idea when.

It would be nice to see a CLEAR sink and draining board occasionally, but I've been told that's not what they're for.

So, about these paper plates, then....

Helena said...

Ooo forgot to say! I love your new blog title pic! LOVELY!


david mcmahon said...

Nothing better than a sink in synch

it's the little things... said...

Funny the things you take for granted until you don't have them anymore!

karoline said...

omg..tell me you all didn't starve to death from lack of clean supper dishes...

tap tap tap...


singleton said...

Oh Good Lord, I love it! And you're laughing! You are the bomb girl (And yup, your kitchen was hit with one)! Carry on paper plate Mama, carry on!

Anonymous said...