I keep telling myself this over, and over. It's a breeze! Being a mom is the best job in the world!!
It's so rewarding/fullfilling/heartwarming..... whatever.
Ya, and if I click my heels three times the Good Fairy will give me a million dollars.
More likely the Wicked Witch of the West will break out her flying monkeys.
Which by the way is my new saying:
Most of the time I feel like that green lady up there on the top, without the green makeup. That no matter how hard I try to be a good mother, I always end up coming across as the Wicked Witch of the West, or, is that Lebec...?
Sometimes I wonder why my kids aren't ax murderers or living under a bridge somewhere talking to their imaginary cat. That's not to say that they won't eventually....
With a not so great example of parenthood to draw from, my limits are constantly being tested. I determined before I ever had children to NOT raise them the way I was raised. No whippings, no verbal abuse, no yelling and screaming. Not making THEM be the parent while I had a breakdown. Well, okay on numbers one, two and four, but the yelling? Not so much..... I think my kids are ready to install a mute button on mom!
How do those people do it? You know the ones, they always maintain their cool, never raise their voices, never lose their tempers.
Personally I think they aren't real. Maybe they are super advanced androids, that's my theory anyway.
Perhaps it was just my week of having 5 teens in my home that brought this all on, who knew teenage girls could eat so much?? Or talk so loud?? Or squeal like that??
I don't know, it's my opinion that any mother who has more than one teenager living in their home at one time should get a 2 week paid vacation. Let's make the government pay for it. We'll call it "No Mothers In Institutions". Kind of like the "No Child Left Behind" program, right?
Only we get an all expenses paid vacation. With a "No children within 25 miles guarantee".
Sounds great, I'll start the petition.
Seriously, I have great kids, but they are 15 and 13, and even the best kids at those ages cause their parents to go bald. From us yanking out hanks of hair.......
Between the brain cells lost during pregnancies, and the hair loss from the teenage years, then the sleep deprivation when they start driving and dating, we'll all be senile, bald monkeys by the age of 50. Oh, joy..... something to look forward to!
I know, I know, probably my kids will turn out just fine despite my lack of perfect parenting skills. But until then, anyone gotta banana? What were we talking about????
*muttering* where's my wig............
Ha! Love you kids! :))